


Applesauce Makes Demands and Alana Breaks a Plate

by GentlyMorbid



Series: The Average Lives of Alana and Margot Verger-Bloom [4]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Extremely Heavy Angst, F/F, Feels, Graphic Self Harm, You will cry for sure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:21:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5153498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GentlyMorbid/pseuds/GentlyMorbid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alana is home  with back pains, Margot comes home early and Applesauce wants to go for a walk</p>
            </blockquote>





	Applesauce Makes Demands and Alana Breaks a Plate

The day after their restful and long cuddle, the household ran as normal, barring some slight changes to the day’s schedule.

Alana had taken the day off, citing back pains, although it took a lot of arguing with Margot to make her see that she couldn’t function well enough to be of any use to her patients. Margot may have had a point there, but that didn’t mean Alana had to like it.

Margot herself had an early day, as the members of the board were being insufferable pigs and she wanted to see how long they could last without her until they called it quits.

It amused her to see the incompetent, homophobic, sexist old men flail helplessly as she, an openly gay woman, commandeered them all. The situation with the members of the board had been going on for a few days and Margot wanted to take the opportunity and get time off where she could.

Applesauce was very hyper that morning, running around, barking at Alana, who was only able to bark back instead of walking her, like Applesauce wanted. The dog started throwing an even bigger tantrum, rolling around on the floor, until Alana, who was sitting on the couch, yelled, at her wits’ end, “Applesauce, shut the fuck up, you insufferable hairball! Your other mother will walk you when she gets home!”

That seemed to register with Applesauce, as she jumped on the couch with her first mother and cuddled up to her, pressing her cool nose into Alana’s back, as if she knew what was causing her temper.

Alana stroked Applesauce, grateful for the absence of noise. She didn’t need her ears to hurt in addition to her old injuries. She huffed in annoyance and restlessness.

She had promised Margot that she would remain on the couch until she returned home, which, Margot assured her, would not be more than a few hours, at most.

Alana was grateful for the extra time spent with her fiancé. She had missed being close to her, in more ways than one. She supposed that it was time to bridge the gap between them. Slowly, with Applesauce’s soft snores lulling her to sleep, Alana dozed off.

 

* * *

 

 

Margot came home to the sound of silence. As she progressed into the living room, she could hear a faint snoring sound coming from the large couch. She turned to see Alana and Applesauce both sound asleep, cuddled up to each other. The source, of course, was Applesauce, snoring away as she always did.

Margot went up to their bedroom to look for a camera, smacking her head in frustration at the fact that she had forgotten that her phone had a camera on it, as all phones did nowadays. Grinning at Alana’s imagined reaction, Margot walked back into the living room and snapped several photos in quick succession of her two favourite girls.

Margot leaned over Alana and gave her a chaste kiss to the forehead. Alana stirred at this, blinking up at her dear. A smile broke out onto her face, but as Alana moved to get up, she grunted in pain, her sore back all but forgotten. Margot helped Alana up slowly, and helped her stretch herself out.

Once she was done, Alana kissed Margot softly on the lips, to their mutual delight. Margot said, by way of greeting, “I’ll get your cane. Then you can tell me about your day, darling.”

Applesauce raised her furry head to see why the couch had suddenly become lighter and stared bleary eyed at Margot, until she registered who she was seeing, starting to bark as she jumped off the couch and ran after her second mother.

As Margot went to retrieve Alana’s cane upstairs in their bedroom, Alana proceeded to walk into the kitchen. She was very hungry after being immobile for half the day. As she reached for a plate, agony shot through her back, making her arm jerk involuntarily and knock the plate to the ground with enough force to shatter it.

It seemed like things had reached a meltdown, as all of Alana’s supressed emotions came bubbling to the surface as she screamed in absolute frustration and sadness, with a few profanities added into the mix. Her carefully constructed composure had shattered, along with the already forgotten plate.

Margot came running down the stairs with Alana’s cane as she heard the frustrated outcries, worried for Alana’s safety. She found her princess slumped against the wall, shaking uncontrollably with sobs and heaving breaths. Margot completely disregarded the smashed plate, but shooed Applesauce out quietly when the inquisitive dog came to see what was wrong with her mom.

Margot edged cautiously to Alana, whispering her name in soothing tones, as Alana engulfed in her a hug so tight, Margot was worried that she would exacerbate her physical pain.

Margot stood there hugging Alana without speaking, stroking her hair for what seemed like hours, but was really only five minutes, until Alana pulled away, the expression on her face so sorrowful, that Margot felt her heart breaking.

Margot could see this coming from a mile off. She knew it was only a matter of time before Alana broke, like Margot had, even if not in the same way. She was just glad that it happened sooner rather than later, and at home, rather than at work.

Alana spoke, with shuddering breaths, as if trying to force out what Margot knew she wanted and needed to say, shaking less slightly.

“I…. My p-parents…. How c-could the-they?! We were n-never too cl-close t-t-t-to begin with, but I thought they would accept m-m-m-me…. Accept us! I don’t know what to do, M-Ma-Mar-Margot… I feel like my l-l-life has been r-ripped away from me. It’s even worse than when I found out what Ha….”

Her shaking and incoherency returned in full force, as Margot made a decision, picked Alana up like the bride to be that she was, and carried her to bed, Alana sniffling into her shirt. Margot gently laid Alana into bed and tucked her in, kissing her forehead, as she had when she arrived home to see her sweetheart sleeping peacefully.

Part of Margot wished that she had not woken Alana up, but the other part of her knew that Alana needed to go through this grieving process eventually. As Alana cried herself to sleep, Margot took stock of her own emotional state. She was feeling tense. She felt so much anguish on behalf of her eventual spouse that she knew she had to deal with it, before she became an emotional wreck, unable to support Alana, and thus, joining her in a shared breakdown.

She silently cursed Alana’s thoughtless, uncaring parents before heading to her secret drawer, getting her supplies and locking the door behind her as she prepared to relocate to a bathroom further away. As an afterthought, she let Applesauce into the bedroom to watch over Alana, before re-locking the door and heading away.

 

* * *

 

 

Margot stood in front of the mirror, looking at her exposed, naked body. Her breathing was steady, if slightly irregular. The only thing going through her mind was locating the best place to make her mark. She decided on her right thigh, given that her other had been recently stained.

She chose a fixed, serrated blade this time, admiring its shine and its fierce image. Breathing slowly, she drew the knife down her thigh and then across opposite, admiring the incision before the blood bubbled to the surface. The blood started to run across her thigh almost immediately.

Margot swore softly, as she grabbed tissues and gauze before applying pressure on the wound, cleaning it before applying the bandage. She chastised herself for getting out of control too quickly. She would have to find another place to exact her self-hate and anger on.

She stood up slowly, aware that the cut on her thigh was deep and sore. She stared at her abdomen, where the scar from her non-consensual hysterectomy was. Margot smirked. Mason was dead. She was the one in control of her pain now.

The resulting gashes were deep as well, situated vertically on either side of the old scar. She felt powerful, as she felt and saw the blood drip down onto the tiles of the bathroom. She could feel herself flying, without a care in the world. She sighed in absolute relief, as she went about the next stage of her operation: cleaning up.

Once she was bandaged up and the blood off the floor and her knife, she straightened. Pun intended, Margot smirked. She was in pain, but she was satisfied. She could go back now to her usual life, caring for Alana and Applesauce.

She closed the bathroom door, after ensuring no evidence of her “breakdown” was left, and walked with a slight limp and bent posture to her bedroom, where Alana slept peacefully and Margot’s tools vanished, to be beheld another day.

 

* * *

 

Applesauce slowly nudged her hand, as she sat down on the bed. Now that Alana was sleeping unburdened by grief, Applesauce could take a break from her duty and get that well deserved walk!

Margot sighed unhappily. Of all the times Applesauce could ask her, it had to be now! She and Alana had become adept at reading Applesauce’s body language, and Margot knew that Alana couldn’t have possibly taken her for a walk.

Margot picked Applesauce up, noticing how heavy she was getting, before shaking her head at her stupidity. She was in no fit state to carry her dog, who was getting larger and heavier by the week! She put Applesauce down quickly, but gently, motioning for quiet, as they both walked out of the bedroom, Alana still unaware of her surroundings, as she slept on, content.

Margot and Applesauce happily walked around the grounds of Verger Mansion, greeting the horses as they left through the stables. They were each in their own little world, Margot already thinking of ways to help her princess get better, and Applesauce, being a dog, was just happy that Margot was happy and taking her for a walk!

As they completed a half an hour walk, both of the girls became fatigued, for similar reasons. Applesauce had spent her energy alternately walking and running without straying too far from Margot, while Margot herself was in greater, but no less deserved pain, she thought, due to her abdomen and thigh burning with agony.

As Applesauce snuggled onto the couch, Margot made her way up the stairs, very slowly and carefully, to change into more comfortable clothes and hop into bed with Alana. She positioned herself so she was lying with her back away from Alana, who snuggled into Margot, just like Applesauce would.

Alana, thankfully, kept her hands away from Margot’s waist, instead grasping the back of her shirt, as she slumbered on. Margot smiled, while crying softly, with both happiness and regret. She really loved Alana so much. She couldn’t wait to marry her.

All she wanted to do was take care of her and keep her life as pain free as possible. Emotionally, at least. Margot could only help so much with Alana’s physical injuries, but they, too, would fade away in time, just like Alana’s worries.

Alana suddenly jerked awake, in a sudden movement that sent shockwaves through Margot’s abdomen. Biting her lip to keep from making more than a grunt, Margot turned to face her beloved.

Alana looked concerned, noting that Margot had difficulty turning over to meet her. Alana shot a quizzical look in Margot’s direction, to which she replied, “It’s nothing, dear. Just a bit sore from my walk with Applesauce.”

Alana chose not to press the issue, despite seeing that Margot was clearly fabricating a story. Margot was never sore after playing with Applesauce, no matter what.

Alana, however, chose to keep her questions for now, as she brought Margot into a soft embrace, not wanting to increase whatever physical pain her queen was in.

Alana silently thanked Margot for being her support and for grounding her when she needed it. She had no idea how Margot had managed through all of this without shattering as she had, but she was grateful, nonetheless.

With a tiny smile on her lips, Alana went back to sleep, this time with Margot cradling her, back into the landscapes that were her dreams.

Alana just knew that everything was going to be alright, as long as she had Margot and Applesauce in her life.

They were what mattered. Just the three of them, without a care in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Margot's knife: http://www.allequipped.net/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/g/e/gerber_silver_trident_double_serrated_edge_fixed_blade_knife_06995_box_packaged_013658069954.jpg


End file.
